Photo Illustration by Elainarose Trenkamp

Nur Awkal

Thursday, 28 may, 2020

Okay. Now I am really rushing to get all my homework done. I literally have to write a 1200 word essay by tomorrow morning. Its already Friday 12:11 A.M. I may be very stressed out right now but that is okay we cruisin’. Just enjoying life one more day left I can do this and get everything done. No way I won’t. I always get everything done.

Anyways I can not believe High-school ended like this. What did I expect with my luck lol. Of course I am not finishing high school the normal people way. Thats okay. I am okay with not going back. I got to miss so many presentations, and exams. Man am I blessed for not having to take exams. I could sense I was going to fail every single one. I always fail all my exams. I am a horrible test taker.

Being a horrible test taker… I am so afraid of taking my college placement exams, because it is going to be so much work. I always get really stressed out. I read in between the lines. I don’t know I get so distracted. Okay I really need todo other homework now. Have a great life guys this is my last blog.



Tuesday, 26 may, 2020

I went to school this week. It was so weird. There was no one where when I showed up. Besides shelby but that is because we drove there at the same time but different cars. I was not expecting the two t shirts but that was pretty cool. We got our locks that were on our locker and any medals like the nhs ones that we didn’t receive.

I am sad that we probably are not going to prom, and we didn’t get to have our senior picnic, and our walk through. We deserve that school sucks. I see why seniors are so annoying in the hallways. You’re free scream it out.

Couple days left I am loosing more and more motivations todo anything. I am rushing and finishing all my missing work right now.

It is going well so far I got a lot done today. I am proud of my self. Periodt.

Thursday, 21 may, 2020

All my friends hung out without me today. What a bummer right. No one thought to bring me along. Thats alright I guess. I have todo all my homework for this week anyways lol. I really dislike a lot of people now. I just can not talk to people I don’t like. It is so much of my effort and time for someone I don’t like. Tell me why I am wasting my time for others. Who knows too much care to give. But make fun of me one more time, or laugh at me I will explode. You are not funny.

I am sick of quarantine and school. I don’t care about learning, I don’t care about homework, I don’t care about this, you, everything bro. I don’t have a care in the world. My minds so empty, and my stomach is too I am so so so hungry.

Two more days of ramadan then I can eat like a normal human being. I am so hungry. I am distracting my self by doing this boring freaking homework. No one cares bro we are just trying to get our diploma. Senior year teachers are not the best. No one cares anymore lol.

Tuesday, 19 may, 2020

There is so much todo. I don’t know where to start. I am still grumpy and upset. I am ready for college and new friends. It feels like everyone is just forgetting about me and ignoring me. I don’t know I am probably dramatic. I think I get more more mad then sad.

I am so mad. I am so mad. Why am I even writing this here. I know because I am desperate for someone to talk to me. Too funny gurl. I don’t work until friday. I got three whole days off. We bout chill hard core. Straight up do nothing. I went for a drive a bunch of times.I wanna go on one right now but I can’t I have been doing homework all day in my room. I haven’t even gotten up yet bro.

Just straight assignments. I went to bed doing them and I woke up to doing them. Does anyone else see the repeating problem here.

I hear the whole world is so mad at college board. Honestly I hope college board goes bankrupt or something. They really expect us to answer those impossible answers. I don’t care if some kids can do them. What 2:24 kids can do them in the classroom. And what the whole class passes with an A, the teacher looks good because she gave us extra credit so our grades don’t look like 20%. And the 2 students who can do it good job I don’t know wear your medal.

Thursday, 14 May, 2020

Hi what did I do today. Today I was very grumpy and upset. I don’t know I can’t control it. Any ways I hung out with my friends and we drove around. Then I dropped them off. After that I went driving a little around. I went to down town rochester, then to my work, back to usamsclub hall road area, then back home. It was quiet eventful. I listened to music, drank some water, shed a couple tears. You know just the gals being gals.

I am so tired from doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again.  It is so boring oh my goodness. Its like all i do is homework, sleep, eat, drive around, go to work. Thats it nothing else theres nothing todo. The word nothing is starting to just sound wrong.

I am taking my pictures with anthony on monday hopefully to turn them in on tuesday. Yikes bro what am I even going to wear. All my clothes do not fit right. They are all too big on me 🙁 omggggggg. Ahh I am so hungry I can’t wait to eat. I wonder what is for dinner.

I am fasting. That means i can not eat when the sun is bright and alive my guy. I can only eat when its dark outside. So it is almost that time.

I am going to eat dinner now have a great day my guys!

Tuesday, 12 May, 2020

Where do I start. Nothing really going on today. When I say nothing I really do be meaning nothing  I stayed in bed all day and threw the largest fit over what. Just some house hold problems that annoy me and are yet to be resolved but we are still livin and breathin. It’s the thought that counts to be honest. I am so nervous for college how am I supposed to make more friends that’s impossible.

I am finished with that. There’s a new thing where if  you eat an orange in the shower it’s supposed to be really soothing. To the point, my shampoo smells like clementines and oranges and it’s so fresh. I recommend you to use an orange scented shampoo it’s so relaxing.

As you may tell I have been taking a lot of showers out of complete boredom. I’ve watched all the new netflix shows. I’m going to catch up on Greys Anatomy I left off on season 13 they’re on 16 now. I am also watching The Society right now and that’s pretty good. I am only on episode one right now though and it’s very confusing to be honest. I have a lot of homework to catch up on tomorrow before work. Today was supposed to be for homework but I had a mini mental break down.

Well now I am eating chocolate cake and it’s almost one AM. I am going to steal the doritos in my kitchen later.

Have a good night y’all ?

Thursday, 7 May, 2020

Hello everyone. Thursday am I right. Three more weeks of high school man. Time goes really fast when your having fun. Well I guess not really fun. I would say when you are having the most stressful time of your life and waiting for it to be over everyday. Omg Just Kidding. HAHAH.

ANYWAYS…. I have to go to work again tomorrow 4:45-9:15. again on saturday 7:30-12. Yo dog what it be getting that coin. I am just kidding. Joke. Anyways again hahaha I have a zoom with U of M at 3 for admitted students day. I can’t wait for that.

I am sure everyone makes fun of me when I say I got into U of M. I don’t think people know that I can be smart sometimes. I love writing things down. It is my thing. I can write the most moving thing in the world. I think thats what really to their attention. I chose teachers I loved and had for years for my letters of recommendation. I didn’t chose my AP teachers, or the more well known people in the building. I made it personal. I really think thats the trick. Show who you are man, forget the grades and the stress for once.

I got my cap and gown. I am upset the NHS medals are late, and that I didn’t get my Keyclub medal yet. When is that coming in. I wonder how they are going to get those to all of us, and other missing things. I got two cords. Both for language. Kinda cool not going to lie. I am a little upset that there is nothing to show off the academic scholar thing that we all got, and did not get to show off. Not fair my guy. But it is okay I guess lol.

I have a lot of work to catch up on. I am on my way to the top I guess.

Well I am going to do more homework now, everyone have a great day.

Tuesday, 5 May, 2020

Today omg hahahahahahahaha. Dude I am so behind in school. It is low-key stressing me the heck out. Everyones texting you all day. Hey this is missing, hey you did not do this, hey turn this in. DUDE I KNOW LEAVE ME ALONE HAHAHA. I am sorry for snapping at teachers low-key. I feel bad, but they’re literally making me not do my work. Them telling me todo it sparks something in my brain to watch tiktoks and lay down on my bed.

I went to work on monday actually 4-8 It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty boring though. I never enjoy a single day of work. Unless someone new gets hired, because then I get train the new kids for the rest of my shift, so thats pretty fun. Other then that work is pretty awful. I really want to quit. I have so much seniority though. That means I am one of their longest hires. I am almost at my one year. That means I can get whatever schedule I want. I also really get todo whatever I want at work. Just as long as I am woking they do not bother me at all. It is very nice.

My manager really asked is we wanted 40 hour weeks. Okay princess calm down. Periodt. I will probably take her up on her offer though for the summer. I kinda feel like being alone this summer, and unbothered.

Okay pause. I am running for president when I am old enough. Catch me outside. Yes, because this is president material B. I can’t finish this seriously bro HAHAHAH. I swear I would be good president. Everyones only chasing one thing for their campaign. They try to attract the biggest group. I am going to attract everyone. I can give everyone what they want. It is so easy bro. I am just kidding I am sure its not that easy. Anthony said he would vote for me. Y’all are all clowns.

I realized how stupid I genuinely sound.

Sorry for such teenage language. hahahaha omg.

Back on to today. All I have been doing is school work. Thats all. Super boring actually really got little to nothing done. To be honest. I get so distracted. There is no one to yell at me and expose me so I take my time. I don’t know I feel like everyone is over stressing. School was godawful. Every teacher I feel like just enforced fear. Thats why school became so un enjoyable. I don’t care about a F anymore bro. Cry a river I can fix it later.

Sorry if that rude or anything, but the grading system is all a game. Choose todo the more points assignments. Or if somethings too much work just do a bunch of little assignments to even out the scale. This will give you a nice B. Sorry teachers for exposing my self, but please don’t actually fail me. I am not trying to come back. Periodt.

Friday, 24 April, 2020

Omgggg Friday. No SCHOOOLLLL. hahaha schools out.

That was an awkward intro to Friday now wasn’t it. I am dreading this day and tomorrow. I have work form 4:30-9 but i am also fasting for ramadan so thats exciting put very tiring on the body.

Saturday I have a full shift 7:30-4. God I am going to hate that. I am going to put an update on how that went tomorrow brother.

UPDATE: It was so bad. I have never hated anything more in my life then today which is now SATURDAY. I am back from work and I showered the corona off of me. Everyone was so mad. My managers told me to clean the flooder poop water bathrooms. The were drain over flew in the bathroom. They told me to clean it I said no and I will be leaving if i have to . Sorry my last straw there. They didn’t make me clean it. I threw my fit and we are getting professionals todo it I think. I am so hungry as well. My neck really hurts. Everyone was being so mean there were a lot of cranky customers. They don’t understand that we are tired as well. Also I would like everyone to know that people that work in a grocery store don’t know if we have more of something. I would like to throw this out there.IF ITS NOT ON THE SHELF ITS NOT THERE. THERE IS A SHORTAGE OF FOOD AND SUPPLIES………. I wonder why.

FRIDAY AT WORK: Work today wasn’t that bad. I slept in until 2. I woke up and got dressed and headed away. It was boring again. A little busier, because we got some toilet paper, and cleaning supplies.

I had a little dinner. I am upset I missed the first night of ramadan dinner with my family but thats okay theres always tomorrow lol. I have to go to bed early tonight so I can wake up in the middle of the night eat “breakfast” at 4 am before the sun rises. After that I wake up at 6:30 get dresses and go to the DEVIL SHIFT as I like to call it. I did it last Saturday too but it wasn’t that bad because I wasn’t fasting.

Thursday, 23 April, 2020

Hello everyone.

I finally did school todayyyyyy. It wasn’t that bad as soon as you get started it is pretty okay. I spent all day doing home work. I am not even kidding. I’ve been doing it since 2.

French was kind of really super duper hard. I kept getting everything wrong. Thank god my mom speaks french because she helped me out a lot when I was trying to learn how to do it.

Chemistry is also kind of stressful. There are no new lessons, but we are doing busy work on all of the other units we already did when we were in school.

I do not see things going back to normal any time soon. It is very sad to think about actually, because we could be on quarantine for another 6 million years bro. I feel like there are going to be people that are like emotionally scarred, and scared to ever go back out in the world. Conspiracy theorists its now your time queen.

On a good note if things do go back to normal I will be very excited for it.  Everyone back outside in the new world without having to wear a mask when we go out side of our houses.

I just thought of something funny. It is stereotypical everywhere that the Asian community is known to wear masks outside of the houses. America has been making fun of them for years for it. (I AM NOT SAYING I DO, AND I AM NOT TRYING TO BE OFFENSIVE THIS IS JUST WHAT I HAVE NOTICED AS I CONTINUE TO GROW). Anyways I was trying to say look who’s wearing the mask now…..

My dad just said 1325  new cases alone today in Michigan and 164 dead today…..

goodbye queen see you tomorrow.

Wednesday, 22 April, 2020

Today I am writing my blog a little earlier to talk about school. If I waiting until tonight after work I would definitely forget. I forget a lot. It’s not out of being lazy, I swear it is on accident. I don’t mean to do it. I am getting out of hand.

Listen, school is bad. I don’t know WHERE TO START. Every teacher is just assigning busy work everyday. It is so hard to keep track of and no teacher is following the schedule they were given for their class. It is very frustrating, because we are all trying to work together, and some people just keep doing what they want to do . It not fair and thats on period boo.

The same thing is happening at work. People not wearing gloves, not wearing masks and talking to the people that work there. This make me angry to the core. We are going out into the world with all the drama and with the people that listen to everything thats on the internet. It is dangerous and annoying all together. No one appreciates the hard work anyone is putting in. Sure everyone will say thank you. Everyone is out to save their own butt.

Why do you think mother nature is so angry at us. We are all dividing and conquering. Thats all we know how todo its all human error. Everything always COMES DOWN TO HUMAN ERROR. Prove me wrong.

People genuinely think this is just Earths natural process. Its not darling. We are the ones who made it that natural process. AGAIN HUMAN ERROR BABE.

I am always open to argue everything. I love hearing people thoughts. Tell me anything you want I am so accepting I love talking to people. It is so small. I can even bare to think that some people just never want to learn outside of school.

I think this is why school drives me insane and why its not for me. Everyone thinks inside the box at school, and I never talk i just get talked over all the time.

Towards the end of the year I just gave up. I felt unlisted to, no one could help me, and I was struggling so hard.

This took the weirdest turn in the world.

Goodbye now, and have a great day. Thanks for reading (insert cute doggy eye crying emoji here).

Tuesday, 21 April, 2020

Same thing as Monday today. Except I didn’t go to work. I have the day off.

I hung out in my room today and did nothing except a little bit of school, and i watched netflix.

I started this new show called dead to me it is actually pretty good. I would recommend you to watch this show. I finished Thats 70 show. I am pretty upset about the ending to be honest it was bad. I was expecting a in the future episode when they are all 40 and married. That didn’t happen sadly. I finished the walking dead a while ago on Netflix. They said season ten will be out like when the next school year starts.

Sike I’m not going to school next year jokes on you. I am still sad that we never gt to have an official last day of school. I could sense there was something wrong with this year, because of the way I treated it. I was very careless, and didn’t care about school. (Sorry Teachers I love you still) I hated schoooooooollllll. It’s not because omg its so lame and boring. It was just such a drag nothing was fun todo anymore.

Monday, 20 April, 2020

Today was so Boring again. Whats new….. All I did was wake up for school. I woke up at like 10 made coffee and then turned on my computer.

I caught up on basically nothing because all I did was slook at my computer screen. I have no clue where to start omg. This stresses me out so much.

Later, I went to work it was also pretty boring. All I could think about is going home.

It is pretty cool that I am working during quarantine. I am helping people by sh owing up tow work everyday, and risking my own life for others. Its thrilling. There is something new in the world to do. I think this happening to the whole entire world really made people appreciate what they have more in life.

Corona you are bitter sweet.

Wednesday, 15 April, 2020

So I was actually wrong today marks a full month of quarantine.

RIP in the chat. I went to work today. Everyone is so mad, angry, and cranky. My managers were all mad. They were so mean to me and kept yelling at me. I did ten thousand different things. Thank god I was only there for four hours. It was so bad. I can’t explain how bad it is.

I am on FaceTime with Anthony right now. He rocks!

I don’t have much to write about today. I am very tired from work so I am going to bed.

Good night everyone have a blast.


Tuesday, 14 April, 2020

I give up. Today I literally did nothing. I stood outside, cleaned my room, and ate dinner. I also watched a movie with my parents it is called Onward. We rented it online, because it just came out. It is a Disney movie. 10/10 would recommend for you to watch.

I can’t stop watching Ratatouille, That’s 70 show, and listening to music.

Oh I remember something, I went to Kroger today to get a snack for when I watch Netflix at night. They are wheat things. We are trying to stay healthy gals.

I really have no hype energy today. I have nothing interesting to write about. I am very empty minded and bored today.

Have a good day. Yesterday I think marked a month of quarantine.

Monday, 13 April, 2020 

I am back. Listen I have never felt so stressed out but so relaxed in my life. It is quite the odd feeling in my opinion. I am laying in bed until four or even six a.m., watching Netflix. My spring break I sat in bed for most of it and watched Netflix. I enjoyed not having any responsibilities for the week. I baked a lot of things like cookies, cake , donuts (also fried them), and cinnamon rolls. They were so baller.

For my senior year spring break I was supposed to go to Myrtle Beach, but the hotel gave us a refund and all unnecessary travel was not allowed. We were kinda screwed on that one. I was so excited for spring break. I started saving my money for the trip, and worked more hours. My grades went down for this trip. My grades also went down for the Quebec trip. I was trying so hard todo my clubs, stay up from getting home from work, and looking at my homework for two hours but not doing it. I am so sorry to the teachers reading this, but I did your homework before class and still turned it in on time, don’t worry.

That took a whole turn. We are getting a little bit heated in the blog. To continue with today, I finally went back to work. There were carts stacked up with caution tape. The line was so long on Friday they reached maximum capacity at my Kroger. They had to form lines and only let people in when they walked out. I wasn’t working that week. Thank god. I feel bad for not working but I needed a solid week off to do nothing. Today at work it was boring very slow. The scary managers left after an hour I was there so it was a chill day.

On a whole separate note I finally chose to go to U of M, but this time I actually enrolled by paying that stupid fee. Why do I need to pay to be accepted. We are already paying thousands for taking the classes. It wild and crazy how it all works if you ask me.

I really need to catch up in all my school work and step up the game, because I am trying to graduate. It was just stressful and teachers weren’t uploading things right, and then Schoology broke the week before spring break. I couldn’t log in. It let me log in once and then my wifi wouldn’t let it load. Silly wifi if you ask me.

Has anyone noticed how slow your phone is. My wifi sucks, and even my LTE like my data on my phone is slow. I have t-mobile and I always use it, because sometimes its better in my room. I have unlimited so its no big deal.  (I wasn’t trying to boost my self by saying I have unlimited). Anyways it is really slow and everything is taking ages to load.

I am actually very upset and happy we are not going back to school. Happy, because I don’t have to wake up at 6 am anymore. Sad, because I don’t get to finish senior year like a normal senior. It bittersweet. It will go down in history that class of 2020 never had a graduation. But, I think we are having a graduation. I can’t wait for everything to go back to normal, so I can live my messy senior year life.

Thursday, 26 March, 2020

Alright everyone this is the most boring break of my life. It is so hard to keep up with school work, because every time I go to Schoology I get overwhelmed then watch Netflix. It is very hard to read and it is organized very poorly. I do not mean to be rude to anyone, but I genuinely hate working on schoology. I know we have to but it is very hard to keep up with, because every teacher is posting something every two minutes. Everyone said nothing was graded so none of us have the motivation to learn anymore. The news is being very chaotic, and I still believe that the corona virus is not that serious. I will still continue to be cautious and stay home only because my parents won’t let me go anywhere except work lol. I maybe have spent less then a hour on school work today, because I genuinely have no clue where to start. This is way to chaotic for me.

When I went to work yesterday it was very slow. When I went to do carts I sat outside in the new chairs that the store brought in to sell lol. There was maybe 20 customers at a time.

I sat outside with all my coworkers and did nonsense. I really did absolutely nothing. There is not much todo around here. Before our corona virus break there was already nothing to do so now I am going insane.

I have baked banana bread, cookies, made weird dinner, and sat in the living room. Right now I am kind of sick of my parents so I am hiding in my room and doing this. I am so so so so so so so so so so so bored lol. Please help. I am just kidding lol. Honestly I think I am being very dramatic and need to do school work now.

I have cleaned my room four times, and it is dirty again. My hygiene has been very good lately lol. Like I have never felt more clean in my life. Since I have time to take a full shower, and do everything else. Sounds gross but to be honest when I was doing school, clubs, work, service hours, and homework my hygiene was going down hill.

I really have watched ratatouille ten times already.

My sleep schedule is go to bed around four AM to six AM and wake up around two then if I have work I will go to work then go home and continue to do nothing.

I think everyone should stay home now only because I don’t want most of the old people to get sick. So I have decided to stay home and stop being a rebellious teenager lol. Anyways, I am on FaceTime with Anthony right now and talking about college. We both really wanna travel abroad and do a program through our colleges.

I have decided to go to the University of Michigan and study Bio-engineering. I found a woman study program as minor, so I am going to do that too. It sounds very exciting i just have to sign up for orientation right now, but I can’t get my self to do that yet lol. I will update everyone once I get around that.


Monday, 17 March , 2020

For today with the coronavirus outbreak that is continuing to happen while being on Quarantine I have gone out with all my friends and still will continue to go out with all my friends. Although my parents are still being very strict and won’t allow me to have sleepovers I still continue to hang out with my friends. Also I went to the mall on Saturday and there was no one there. It was so empty and the sales were really bad. It is crazy that something like this can even effect the stock market, and prices of things in the stores.

Nur Awkal

Many parents are very concerned about the virus outbreak going on but honestly I don’t see it being a problem because it’s the flu with a little bit of extra sugar. Today I went on a three Hour drive with my friend Ciara Witkowski, and then we also went to go pick up Magan, and we wasted time by going to Circle K. Now I am going to Shelby‘s house with Magan and Ciara but we are waiting for her to finish showering. That is basically all that I’ve done today because now it’s 8 PM and we are still waiting for Shelby but I’m just being impatient because of how bored I am. My curfew was nine thirty p.m. sadly. My parents would not let me stay out longer. There is basically nobody outside so it was very boring and there’s nothing to look at but at least I got to go outside.

Update: I just left and Shelby and Ciara are taking Magan home because I have to be home by 9:30. Now I am home and updating  this. The roads were very empty, and it was very spooky. There was just a very bad vibe outside. Everyone was just in a rush while driving tonight.

I am slightly scared of the corona virus just because I do not want my family to get it or my grandma. That’s the risk but if the people that are at risk for death they should stay home. I don’t know but as long as I don’t have it I am going to continue to roam freely. I don’t want something like this to stop all humanity and put everything on pause. This is the time of our lives we have to live it to the fullest.

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